[vent and rant] how on earth am I going to cope?

[Marley&Me]

Tasha, Dh is a chef, At this stage they are fully booked out, with over 150 people having 8 courses or something similar for lunch and dinner.

Oh, that makes sense! Poor DH working on Christmas. Extra $$ I suppose

[beansbeans!]

haha, yeah I wish he got extra $$.. He's on salary which means he get a day off owed to him instead! Same goes for every other public holiday he works, even though they rarely get those back! But its part of the job so we dont complain about it, too much!

[Rivlas]

OK, she has forced her way into your house now you send her the house rules in writing so she cnnot say she wasn't warned. Include not smoking in the house or near doors or windows and no alchol of any sort on the premises. She will also help around the house as you are not up to hotel guests.
Then let her know if she cannot agree to these conditions then she needs to stay elsewhere.

Don't let her stress you out, you may find you will need to go on a few walks for some fresh air

[Marley&Me]

haha, yeah I wish he got extra $$.. He's on salary which means he get a day off owed to him instead! Same goes for every other public holiday he works, even though they rarely get those back! But its part of the job so we dont complain about it, too much!

Oh that sucks! I am in hospitality also, no such thing as overtime or double time and a half!

[surprised]

Hugs hun. This is the last thing you need. Maybe it's time to set some firm boundaries and enforce them? Sounds like she's good at making her problems your problems, and you're too kind to say no. Is it fair on your little ones to have Christmas ruined by you being stressed over your mum driving you mad?

Sounds like she wants to stay for quite a while- can you put some limits on this? Can she stay elsewhere for some of the time? Really feel for you hun. Xo

[Bex]

Are we sisters... Lol this sounds like my mum!!
I don't have a relationship with my mum anymore as she is so toxic. But she some how believes she is a wonderful mother. Thankfully I will be in hospital at Christmas & miss her attempt at happy families. I wish you luck, I hope you can find a way to get through the week sanely x

[LionsandBears]

Any chance you can send her the $150 and tell her not to come?

[beansbeans!]

Are we sisters... Lol this sounds like my mum!!
I don't have a relationship with my mum anymore as she is so toxic. But she some how believes she is a wonderful mother. Thankfully I will be in hospital at Christmas & miss her attempt at happy families. I wish you luck, I hope you can find a way to get through the week sanely x

Now a week in hospital almost sounds better!

L&B- unfortunately not, not only could we not afford to do it, but I know she'd still come down.

Surprised- there will definately be some boundaries set, there always are. This time round though my girls are old enough to understand behaviours, and I need to make sure that everyone under my roof behaviours in a positive way for my girls.

[kateo]

If she's coming I'd be tempted to hire or borrow a caravan for her to stay in. This would mean she'd have her own space but still be "with you" and you could make that the alcohol/smoke area......just a thought

[coolshades]

Oh, I feel for you, you poor girl. How does your mum go with boundaries? If you are firm does she adhere? Let us know and we can work out your next stratagie. Another thought would be could you ask a girlfriend to come over with her kids if she wasn't doing anything for Christmas, then she might be able to help you deal with your mum while hubbys at work?